July 28, 2007 at 3:52 am (Absent Fathers)
As all us who are parents realize that once your male or female child becomes teenager, little Johnny or Sally can sometimes begin to act a fool. Some of this is normal teenage behavior but some behavior acted out in this day and age is clearly out of bounds. This is normally the time when teenage males need their father’s guidance and discipline more than ever. But I have noticed that (most) mother’s end up suffering thru what can be an overwhelming part of child rearing. And most women in general will stick by their child’s side no matter what. Many father’s however, will drop these young men like a bad habit rationalizing that he’ll eventually “get in line”.
Although women have done wonderful jobs at raising children, male children desperately need the male role model in the family so they can learn how to be men. Women certainly don’t have the knowledge or understanding to teach boys to be men. A woman can tell him what she thinks it is to be a man, however, it is not something a mother can model for her son.
For years I’ve wondered why fathers don’t have that same inherent attachment, obligation and genuine love for their own offspring. Is it because mother’s assume all responsibility and let men completely off the hook? Is it because some males can’t separate the feelings they have for their children from the one’s that have from their “Baby’s Mamma?” Or is that some fathers are simply to self-absorbed and incapable of truly loving another individual that cannot give them something in return?
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July 28, 2007 at 3:41 am (Customer Service, Mental Health)
As I’m typing this post, I’m thinking about my son graduating high school soon. – with all my excitement you’d think he was graduating from Harvard. You see, he should have graduated in May but I’m thankful he’s graduating at all. For the past 4 years I have pushed, pulled and drug him thru High School….Damn I’m tired. He is a handful, but a mothers love will endure and make us do things that others often scoff at. Several people have told me to let him fail, he’ll have to figure it out for himself. I do agree with this sentiment however I also realize that without at least a High School Diploma he had absolutely no chance and would probably never see the inside of a school again. At least since he’s graduated high school perhaps he can begin to realize the benefits of education.
I’m definitely encouraging him to go to college, but he’ll have to drag himself thru that. Moma’s tired.
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July 26, 2007 at 1:05 pm (African American, African American Images, BET)
Hot Ghetto mess premiered last night with much anticipation as many of us were prepared to watch a sequel of images and portrayals found on the infamous site, hotghettomess.com. But oddly, the show was a disjointed mess of Jay Leno type street interviews , short films and stale videos. It seems that BET erred on the side of caution and made some last minute modifications to the program after the wave of criticism sparked from the lone blogger over at What About Our Daughters. Her efforts to spread the word about this program and persuade advertisers to pull out demonstrates the power that we each hold in this technological age.
Although the goal of preventing HGM from airing was not realized – I think this was just the first shot over the bow.
Hopefully – those more articulate than myself can spearhead other social issues effecting our youth and communities using the power of the internet.
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July 24, 2007 at 9:21 pm (Customer Service)
As I think about customer service or the lack thereof in our society I continue to happen upon circumstances that validate my position that companies no longer value us as customers.
My mother and I went to a major department store recently and she found a summer skirt that was marked down that she wanted to purchase. As she went through the skirts, she saw that they were all marked down to $29.99 except of course the one in her size. So she takes the skirt to the register and informs the cashier that all of the other skirts were marked down to $29.99. The cashier scans the tag and it rings up at $49.99. Mother simply informs the cashier who is new that all of the other skirts have tags that state $29.99 on them and asks that she honor the price. The cashier calls a coworker over to assist her. The coworker tells my mother that the skirt is $49.99 according to her scanner and wants to know if she would still like to purchase it. My mother becomes frustrated – as she is used to the days when items are sold at the price they are marked…calls me over to the register. I explain to the “customer service associates” again that all of the exact skirts have clearance tags of $29.99 on them thus we would like to purchase this one at the same cost. The sales person continues to tell me the skirt is $49.99. I then asked to speak to a manager , not once but three times- it is finally discovered that some store clerk marked down the wrong items but the manager sells the skirt to us for $29.99.
Really, this is clearly an example of poor customer service. I would think this is a simple case of false advertising. If all items are marked at a certain price…how can you then try and sale them at a higher cost and then argue with the customer about your mistake. I spent 30 minutes in a store to buy an item at the cost the company had marked. Needless to say we left this very large department store with a sour taste. It was not a good customer experience.
Again, I ask – “What Happened to Customer Service”?
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July 18, 2007 at 5:02 pm (African American, African American Images, BET)
Since I’ve been following the controversy regarding the airing of the BET travesty “Hot Ghetto Mess”, I’m subconsciously awaiting the black clergy and local black leaders from across the country to step up and demand that this show be canceled. This is a moral and social issue that needs to be addressed in our country and who better than the ministers of our black churches and local leaders of our cities to lead the charge against the exploitation of the less powerful? I’m not saying that I think Reverend Al should lead the charge, but I do expect to see other ministers & leaders step up and make public statements denouncing BET’s – HGM and rally church members & other organizations to take action to oppose BET’s blaxplotation programming.
Why aren’t there investigations based on the images of young children possibly being abused? Where is Child Protective Services? Surely someone that works in these agencies is aware of the depictions of children on hotghettomess.com. Even if this is legal (which I doubt) , there is a moral code that has been broken.
What have we become when the powerful feed off of the weak rather than helping to lift them up and there is no public outcry from the very ones that teach us that “we are our brother’s keeper”……
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July 16, 2007 at 7:55 pm (Customer Service)
I was having a conversation with my mother the other day about the lack of customer service we receive as consumers. Do you remember back in the day when you entered a store, the clerks stopped what they were doing and offered to help you. Now many simply ignore you and get indignant if you dare ask them to help find an item. How about when you could pull up at a gas station and have an attendant pump your gas, clean your windows and check your tires – which was helpful if you had on your Sunday best, weren’t feeling very well or the weather was bad.
I remember when customers were valued and treated with the utmost respect. I find it interesting that we are now being conditioned to check ourselves out at grocery stores and big box stores to “help us” expedite our transaction. You mean I’m making a purchase in your store and you can’t be bothered to check me out? And by me completing my transaction solo – I’m really helping you increase your bottom line by not hiring additional employees. What is wrong with this picture? Shouldn’t I receive a discount for saving you the cost of pay to an employee?
How things have changed. If you have a loved one in the hospital, you’d better have someone stay with them 24/7 to ensure they are being treated properly – we can no longer rely upon the overworked/understaffed nurses to do this even with the ridiculous cost we pay for medical care.
One of the sad outcomes of this is that our children will never experience true customer service in our self-service world where we must constantly perform duties employers once paid employees to perform . We are now expected to be proficient in – pumping gas, using check out kiosks at stores, performing quality assurance at pharmacies, conducting medical research, etc. – you get my point.
Why are we expected to shoulder some of the tasks that the seller should provide us? Why should I have to know how to use the scanning machines/cash registers, perform quality assurance for pharmacies, etc.? I have no aspirations of being a cashier or a pharmacy technician. Why must I now pump the (very expensive) gas that I’m purchasing from you the company that is robbing us blind? Why must I sit at the hospital every second with an ill family member/friend to chart their medications and ensure they are being cared for properly when we pay such high insurance premiums?
When you view all of the tasks that we must now perform on an individual basis, this all seems trivial, but if you look at them collectively it seems to me that we as consumers are losing more and more ground everyday.
What are we going to do about it?
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July 16, 2007 at 5:52 pm (BET)
BET is still planning to air “Hot Ghetto Mess” inspite of the wave of opposition that is currently underway in the blogosphere. This effort to combat BET is largely being fought by a a site What About Our Daughters. Although the sister over at the blog is dedicated to informing us about what is going on – she can’t do it alone.
One way we can help to fight BET is to support Cable Choice. It basically would let us choose and pay for only the channels we would like to see – thereby leaving BET in the dust which would effectively shut them down. Please contact your US Representative and US Senator , using BET’s “Hot Ghetto Mess” as an example for why you support Cable Choice.
More information on Cable Choice.
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July 16, 2007 at 5:39 pm (Mental Health)
Imagine how you would feel if you just lost someone that is very dear to you. You would more than likely feel sad, angry, fearful, hopeless, helpless, disoriented? Imagine those feeling lasting day after day – week after week – month after month, year after year – this is what it feels like to live with depression only these feelings are not situational they are caused many times by chemical imbalances rather that life events.. Now imagine suffering with these feeling alone unable to discuss it with your loved ones? This is a reality for many suffering mental illness.
Depression is a real issue affecting the life’s of many African Americans. I would venture to say that many of our young men and women that are incarcerated suffer some form of mental illness. Unfortunately many in our community refuse to see mental illness as an “illness” but rather a character flaw. Mental illness is no more a character flaw than is diabetes…it is a bona fide medical illness which is in many cases is a result of hormonal of chemical imbalances in the brain. Unfortunately we have difficulty accepting things we cannot see – depression is one of those types of ailments….but so is diabetes. If you have diabetes you go to an endocrinologist if you have a mental illness you should go to a psychiatrist or medical doctor to receive proper treatment. All treatments do not include pharmaceuticals – cognitive therapy has been known to be just as effective as anti-depressants in treating depression in some individuals. There should be no shame in seeking help when you have any type of illness and mental illness is a serious illness.
Because of the stigma associated with mental illness in our society and in our culture – many people suffer needlessly and their families suffer along with them. We need to educate ourselves about the symptoms and treatment of mental health disorders. We then need to educate our families, friends, churches, etc. about the negative effects of these illnesses and the treatments available to manage them.
We can no longer afford to act like none of us has an “Uncle Pete” in our circle whether it is a family member or a friend….we all know someone who is in need of our love and support with what can be a debilitating illness. Unfortunately many suffer in silence and isolation out of fear of revealing their illness to others. In many cases treatment and support will allow those suffering to live a very fulfilling and rewarding life.
Is there someone you know that needs your support to deal with their illness?
To learn more about mental illness visit the National Alliance on Mental Health.
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July 16, 2007 at 3:45 pm (Thyroid Disorder)
I began taking Cytomel a few days ago to try and get my thyroid hormones corrected. I’m currently taking a very small dosage twice a day with the only apparent side effect being a dull headache. Will update later.
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July 14, 2007 at 4:55 am (African American, African American Images, BET, Parenting, Teenagers)
BET is preparing to air what can only be described as a minstrel show depicting African-Americans in the poorest possible way. Apparently they are competing with VH1 to try and one-up the Flavor of Love programs. According to the blogoshere, BET was actively soliciting images and information of most unbecoming nature to depict on this show – some of which show disturbing images of children.
Home Depot and State Farm Insurance beat a hasty retreat from “Hot Ghetto Mess” following a growing din of complaints, mostly on the Internet, that the show – a collection of home videos and images sent in by viewers – depicts African Americans in the worst light possible.
The show evolved from an Internet site of the same name, which features photos of African Americans in various “ghetto” styles, including hair, clothing and jewelry.
At least one gallery of photos on the site shows toddlers and infants photographed holding bottles of beer or with cigars in their mouths. – New York Post
Hopefully BET will come to it’s senses and pull the plug on this nonsense.
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